Brené Brown is a researcher, writer, and lecturer who has created an extensive body of work in human development. In her book Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone she uses personal stories from listeners as well as research from various fields including sociology, psychology, biology and philosophy to explain how humans need connection with others but also true disconnection to heal.
Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown is a book that discusses the need to develop one’s courage in order to live a meaningful life. The author discusses how we can become vulnerable and brave, while still protecting ourselves from what might hurt us.
Are you seeking for a synopsis of Brené Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness? You’ve arrived to the correct location.
After reading Brené Brown’s book, I wrote down a few crucial takeaways.
If you don’t have time, you don’t have to read the whole book. This book synopsis summarizes all you can take away from it.
Let’s get this party started right now.
I’ll go over the following points in my Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone book summary:
What is the story behind Braving the Wilderness?
Braving The Wilderness is a novel that questions traditional concepts of belonging. Anger and discontent are linked to sentiments of belonging in both the United States and overseas. Brené Brown shows what it means to belong via a stunning blend of scientific study and narrative. People will go to extraordinary lengths to feel a feeling of belonging, even telling stories of agony and suffering.
Who is Braving the Wilderness’s author?
Brené Brown is a University of Houston research professor who has spent the last 15 years studying the emotions of vulnerability, bravery, empathy, and shame.
She is the author of four best-selling books, including Rising Strong and Daring Greatly, and has presented a TED presentation titled The Power of Vulnerability, which has been seen 30 million times across the globe.
For Whom Are You Braving the Wilderness?
Braving the Wilderness is not a book for everyone. It could be perfect for you if you are one of the following people:
- People who are interested in tales of bravery, vulnerability, and humiliation.
- People who feel marginalized
- Students of social sciences
Summary of the Book Braving the Wilderness
Introduction
Every day, it seems like the globe is becoming more divided. Technology used to seem to link us together, forming a worldwide society with common values and aspirations. However, most of us can now connect with individuals who share our views online. As a result, we prefer to associate with those who share our views, causing additional societal differences.
Despite the fact that they are militants, joining a group is appealing since no one wants to feel alone or alone. Indeed, these organizations often worsen loneliness, particularly when they lack personal relationships. As a result, genuine answers must emerge from within. We must go within and ask the difficult questions in order to fully belong and understand our role in the world.
Lesson 1: We spend our whole lives looking for real belonging, and staying without it may be excruciating.
We’re all looking for a location where we can blend in and not stick out as we grow up and into adulthood. Feeling like we belong to something is not merely a desire, but also a basic human necessity.
If we don’t feel like we belong, it may be really distressing.
When the author, Brené Brown, went to New Orleans, the situation was substantially worse than it is now. Back then, schools were still separated. Brown was disliked by both black and white people because of her name. Because Brown’s middle name, Cassandra, was deemed African-American, white kids mocked her and refused to invite her to their birthday celebrations.
Brown was asked to parties by several of her African-American acquaintances, but their parents were astonished to see a white girl there. Brown recalls the agony of feeling like an outsider as a four-year-old, even if it was a long time ago.
Furthermore, feeling as if you don’t belong in your own family might be perilous.
When Brown was a teenager, his family relocated to Houston. Her ambition at her new school was to join the Bearkadettes, the school’s cheering squad. Brown only drank liquids for the two weeks leading up to the tryouts. Her regimen was followed religiously. Brown was informed that, despite her outstanding performance, she was not Bearkadette material.
Her mother was a Bearkadette, and her father was a former football player, so this was very painful for her. She was rejected by both her parents and the cheering team, therefore she was rejected not just by the squad but also by her family.
Brown started drinking as an adult to deal with the anguish.
She later joined Alcoholics Anonymous, although it provided her very little solace. Because she didn’t fit in with AA, Co-Dependents Anonymous, which helps individuals build healthy relationships, would be a better match for her. They, too, didn’t want her and advised her to search for work elsewhere.
Brown had an excessive number of addictions. Drinking and entering co-dependent relationships were simply the top of the iceberg. She had been rejected as a youngster, and the sorrow of not belonging built up.
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Lesson 2: The only authentic kind of belonging is belonging to oneself.
It’s not only being rejected that may make you feel uncomfortable. Even if accepted into a club or sorority, one may feel like an outsider; at other times, one may experience self-loathing for the effort put forth in gaining acceptance from others.
We spend a lot of time and effort attempting to fit in, whether it’s to something or someone. Only when you stop seeking others’ approval and stop trying to fit in with them will you genuinely belong.
She married Steve, whom she first met in 1987. Brown was at the time self-destructive, drinking, smoking, and partying. Steve, on the other hand, saw right through it all and saw her for who she really was. Steve’s encouragement and acknowledgment helped her stop destroying herself.
Brown started the positive portion of her path toward self-acceptance via this connection. She went on Oprah later in life to describe her self-belonging method.
Brown stated to Oprah in one of her films that she had given herself a permission card to be silly, have fun, and enjoy life. Brown’s self-belonging method allowed her to have a good time and turn her life around in this way. Because she was so enthralled, Oprah invited Brown back for a second program.
Brown got the chance to meet Maya Angelou, a poet and activist, on her first appearance on Oprah. Brown remembers her counsel to this day. Brené was taught not to be moved, which meant she should never modify her mind in order to satisfy the opinions of others.
Brown was instructed to dress in “business clothes” the next time she visited Chicago. She first agreed, but in her finery, she felt false. When the event was done, she earned the highest rating of all the speakers after changing into jeans, shirt, and clogs.
Lesson 3: Belonging demands guts and faith while traveling through the wilderness.
Why do we find the outdoors so appealing? Whether it’s the Bee Gees’ song “Voice into the Wilderness” or Jon Krakauer’s book Into the Wild, the wilderness has inspired innumerable authors, artists, and thinkers.
The wilderness is both terrifying and appealing to these artists, and the author utilizes it as a metaphor for the challenges that must be conquered in order to evolve.
A metaphorical wilderness is a location where you are uncomfortable. It may be something new, or it could be wherever you have to face with fear or vulnerability.
This might include interacting with strangers, being in an unusual setting, or mustering the confidence to say yes or no.
Everyone’s trek through the wilderness will be unique, but they will all face hardships. “Every move you take determines your path,” Joseph Campbell remarked.
Your excursion into the woods may lead to introspection, isolation, and self-discovery. These activities will lead to personal development and self-discovery. You can only fully discover your feeling of belonging if you are able to travel into the wilderness alone.
You must master certain “brave skills” in order to enter the wilderness.
If you want to discover your path, you must be ready to participate in awkward and tough dialogues. Fear or defensiveness should not guide you, but inquiry and excitement should.
You must practice not just trusting others, but also trusting yourself. Putting yourself and your ideals vulnerable to others implies making them susceptible to their actions. These abilities may be developed through demonstrating trust and being vulnerable.
Seven characteristics define trustworthiness. Be dependable, own up to your errors, respect boundaries, safeguard personal information, make choices with integrity, don’t pass judgment on others, and be kind to others.
How confident are you in yourself – and others? Consider the following questions.
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Lesson 4: By surrounding ourselves with unquestioned viewpoints, we are producing a loneliness pandemic.
If you’ve been paying attention to the news lately, you’ve probably noticed the split. People are increasingly divided on matters of philosophy, politics, and religion. Is this division, though, making us feel more connected?
The need to feel less alone motivates us to seek out organizations.
Only 25% of Americans resided in a county where the majority of citizens voted for the same presidential candidate in 1976. In 2016, Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton won handily in 80 percent of US counties. In other words, during the last 40 years, individuals have surrounded themselves with like-minded people.
But, as journalist Bill Bishop puts it, we’re locked in a “feedback loop” in this scenario.
People nowadays exclusively watch TV programs, read blogs, newspapers, and publications that represent their own personal views. We continue to be trapped in a circle of reinforcing our own beliefs rather than being challenged by new knowledge.
When you belong to a group, it’s as if you’re trapped within a bubble. When people are within that bubble, they tend to feel more alone.
Because of this, the number of Americans who say they are lonely has increased since the 1980s. Chronic loneliness, according to Julianne Holt Lunstad, a psychology and neuroscience professor at Brigham Young University, is more detrimental than obesity, pollution, or excessive drinking. Premature mortality has climbed by 45 percent, according to her studies!
As a result, it is best to shun groups and instead seek out activities and locations that bring us together.
Brown’s two children, Ellen and Charlie Brown, have informed her that some restaurants and friends’ places make them feel lonely. She and her family eventually understood that genuine ties were difficult to form in these settings.
Other events and venues, particularly those oriented around art and music, may likewise inspire and bring us together. Not groups, but these locations will help us discover a sense of belonging.
Lesson 5: To reduce loneliness, focus on personal experiences and avoid anger.
Once you get started, your route to belonging will be riddled with inconsistencies.
You should concentrate on what you see and feel directly rather than what you hear on television.
If you just watch one news station, all of your news may convince you to think that Republicans and Democrats are selfish morons. The reality is quite different. There may come a day when you need to go to the hospital for a family emergency, and the person most ready to assist you is someone who does not share your political views.
Every day, such gestures of human solidarity take place, and they are more true than the words intended to separate people.
It’s also crucial to be respectful to others, particularly when correcting what we perceive are incorrect viewpoints.
Brown, who grew up in a hunting household, was chatting to her son one day about teaching him to hunt. An overheard stranger quickly accused her of supporting the National Rifle Association (NRA). Brown’s immediate reaction to the stranger’s incorrect assumption was to shout at him. She stated that one may oppose the NRA while yet supporting proper gun ownership, taking a big breath and smiling.
Even if you don’t know the individual well, offer neighborly sympathy in times of joy or grief. Even if you don’t generally watch sports, you could lend a hand to a stranger at a burial ceremony or cheer for your neighbor’s favorite sports team.
Even if you are brave, you might stay vulnerable.
Jen Hatmaker, Brown’s buddy, is a Christian community leader who battled for LGBTQ civil rights amid harsh criticism from other Christians. Despite the animosity, her transparency, elegance, and compassion made her an inspiration.
Lesson 6: Instead of turning your anger into bitterness, use it to better understand yourself.
Do you keep a grudge? You know how tiring it is to be angry with someone for an extended period of time. When you keep your anger within, you lose your ability for pleasure.
Anger may be better managed by being vulnerable and having difficult dialogues with oneself. Unfortunately, as a culture, we prefer to shun these tactics.
Following the 9/11 attacks, there was a legitimate time of grieving, but instead of concentrating the country’s fury on uncovering the mastermind, politicians diverted it onto an ideological opponent.
Instead of addressing religion, color, identity, or any of the causes for the assault, Americans rallied around sentiments of patriotism and displayed American flags on their vehicles and homes. As we now know, patriotism is the only thing that can keep a country unified.
Positive, purposeful expressions of our rage would be preferable.
Nobel Laureate Kailash Satyarthi described how we all keep our rage bottled up because we’ve been persuaded that expressing it or letting it out is harmful. Repressing it, on the other hand, makes it more likely to manifest itself in violent forms, retribution, or tyranny. There are an increasing amount of mass shootings and racial violence in the United States.
When anger is utilized to confront incorrect ideas, it may result in major social change.
Antoine Leiris spent the days after his wife was slain in the 2015 Paris attacks drafting a letter titled “You Will Not Have My Hatred.” He assured the assassins in the letter that even though he had lost the love of his life, he and his 17-month-old son would continue to live their lives in peace, free of resentment or animosity.
By refusing to allow his bottled-up rage devour him and transform him into an untrustworthy, terrified guy, Leiris challenged the terrorists. Instead, he chose to continue living a loving life. To put it another way, Leiris was loyal to himself and found a non-reactionary method to fit in.
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Final Thoughts
Every human being is born with a need to belong. A person might spend a lifetime evolving and growing in search of a feeling of belonging. As a result, belonging boils down to discovering who we really are and accepting that identity.
Additional Reading
If you enjoyed Braving the Wilderness, you may be interested in reading the following book summaries:
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