In the book, Women Who Love Too Much author Robin Norwood discusses how women who are over-invested in romantic relationships can become trapped by their “love” for someone. The central idea of this book is that it’s possible to love too much and find yourself not being able to let go even if you want so badly.
Robin Norwood’s “Women Who Love Too Much” is a book that explores the idea of women loving too much. The book goes into detail about how women can take care of themselves and not rely on men for everything.
Are you seeking for a synopsis of Robin Norwood’s book Women Who Love Too Much? You’ve arrived to the correct location.
After reading Robin Norwood’s book, I wrote down a few significant takeaways.
If you don’t have time, you don’t have to read the whole book. This book synopsis summarizes all you can take away from it.
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I’ll go over the following subjects in this Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change book summary:
What is it about women who love too much?
What value do you place on having “someone to love” in your life? Do you ever imagine that if you met “the right guy,” you would no longer be miserable or lonely? Do you become bored of ‘good men’ who are trustworthy, open, and honest? If you’re suffering from love-related anguish, this book is for you. According to psychologist Robin Norwood, excessive love is a reaction to women’s childhood difficulties.
Women are attracted into unsatisfactory and disastrous relationships with males on a regular basis. They then attempt to save these hopeless relationships. This book examines the addictive nature of toxic relationships and offers a detailed plan for recovering from the sickness of too much love.
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Women Who Love Too Much is written by who?
Letters from Women Who Love Too Much, Daily Meditations for Women Who Love Too Much (drawn by Richard Torregrossa), and Why? are also by Robin Norwood. Answers to Life’s Most Difficult Questions.
Her #1 novel Women Who Love Too Much has sold over three million copies throughout the globe. She resides on California’s central coast as a former marital, family, and child therapist who specializes in addiction.
Summary of the book Women Who Love Too Much
In the 1980s, a flood of self-help books directed at women (and typically concerning relationships) began. Robin Norwood was an addiction therapist who specialized in marital and family therapy. Her studies and observations of how women acted in toxic marriages inspired this enormously popular book (such as tolerating the behaviour of alcoholic or abusive men.)
Norwood indicates that many women, including herself, behave in similar ways in other relationships. ‘Like any other addict, we need to accept the depth of our addiction,’ she adds.
The book is aimed towards women who are experiencing more anguish and tears in their relationship than love and joy, and who are caring and giving without getting the same amount of support in return.
Accepting that you can’t change your relationship, she proposes that you alter yourself instead. The argument is that women want to ‘fix’ a guy by helping him improve rather than admitting that his shortcomings are unlikely to be fixed. Part of her thesis makes the intriguing argument that what individuals consider to be altruistic behavior may sometimes be a kind of manipulation.
‘Praising and encouraging are very similar to pushing, and when you do that, you’re attempting to reclaim control of his life,’ she writes. Once you’ve grasped this, you’ll need to look at what is rather than what you think will be. You must let go of the belief that “I’ll be pleased when he changes” as you let go of managing and controlling.
To put it another way, you should define your happiness in terms of your own objectives, issues, and expectations rather than relying on your partner’s.
This is especially true for those who grew up in a dysfunctional family; Norwood often links adult dysfunctional behavior to childhood events; the child of an alcoholic is not only more likely to become an alcoholic themselves, but also to tolerate the behavior of an alcoholic partner (and to hope to help them overcome their addiction as a way of compensating for their own difficult childhood.)
Norwood has devised a ten-step treatment program for ladies who ‘love too much.’ This is mostly concerned with identifying your condition, prioritizing yourself, avoiding managing and controlling people, finding a support group, avoiding mental games, and ‘being selfish.’
The book includes numerous experiences from women who have experienced the difficulties highlighted and, in some instances, how they have turned their lives around and adopted a healthy relationship style. (Some of the tales have aged horribly, and the book has a distinct ‘1980s’ vibe.)
One argument is that the book is truly about a very particular sort of person and relationship, one in which there are difficulties with addiction, fear of desertion, and wishful thinking about a partner’s flaws (all of which are present or linger from infancy).
However, because the anecdotes are easy for anyone to recognize elements of their own relationship, and Norwood talks in broad terms about how many women ‘love too much,’ some readers will read the book, reflect on their own bad relationships, and project the specific problems Norwood is describing onto their own lives. Putting your partner’s needs aside and ‘being selfish’ may be the incorrect solution for some individuals.
Susan Faludi, a feminist writer and novelist, lambasted Norwood in her book Backlash for encouraging women to blame themselves for issues in their relationships rather than being more assertive and forcing their partners to change.
The issue for Faludi in this reading should be, “Why are so many guys problematic when it comes to relationships?” rather than, “How can I cope better with dysfunctional men?” The book, according to Faludi, “provided women with greater peace to accept things they couldn’t change rather than bravery to alter the things they could.”
Finally, Women Who Love Too Much is likely to be most effective to a certain sort of person: someone who grew up in an insecure environment and is drawn to unpredictable, problematic guys (particularly those with addiction issues).
Beyond that demographic, its portrayals of males are similar to those in romance films and literature with a male protagonist who is first “difficult” but becomes more likeable by the conclusion of the tale.
This may contribute to a larger issue: the cliché of a loving, caring lady solving their hero’s difficulties might feed into inaccurate assumptions of how partnerships “should” operate. Women Who Love Too Much is a nice antidote to that portrayal of relationships, but whether or not the offered solution is beneficial depends a lot on the individual.
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Final Thoughts
Are you addicted to dating? Do you associate love with misery and pain? Do you find yourself attracted to males that you attempt and fail to ‘fix’? If this is the case, you could be a lady who loves too much.
People who have had a dysfunctional childhood often react in adult relationships by looking for something they didn’t get as a child (love and support) while tolerating the behaviors they are used to: women tend to take a nurturing, caring role and put up with addictive men more easily than addictive women.
‘Watching a parent completely embrace life offers a kid license to do the same, just as seeing a parent suffer shows a youngster that pain is part of life.’
If you truly are a woman who loves too much (as opposed to someone who is simply with the wrong person or who is already sufficiently self-centered), you can change your relationship attitude by following the ten-step recovery plan, focusing on your own needs rather than trying to change your partner, becoming selfish, gathering a support group of friends, and being honest about your true motivations and desires.
Additional Reading
If you like Women Who Love Too Much, you may be interested in the following book summaries:
Women Who Love Too Much is available for purchase.
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“Women Who Love Too Much” by Robin Norwood is a book that aims to help women understand the psychology behind their love addiction. The author discusses how women are more likely to be addicted to love than men, and also provides tips for overcoming this addiction. Reference: loving too much psychology.
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